| Listen to what you cannot see By: Steve Trubilla A good friend recently shared with me he was feeling empty about someone he truly cared about. Someone, he said, he had helped many times, and was willing to do anything for. In the course of things big and small, the conversation to others was of little importance; just a couple of friends talking. Have you ever noticed some small words can cut deep? He was feeling empty; I thought about this. Not frustrated, lonely, or angry, just empty. As an action, to empty is to remove something, leaving the absence of what was. Then there is the word feeling, a word much harder to define with other words. For you I am trying to paint a picture of what the presence and sensation of feeling is. I will express it as an appreciative awareness to an experience or emotion. Together the words feeling and empty host the invisible presence of pain, something that cannot be seen or touched. Is it then real or just imagined? For those that know the feeling of emptiness, it is very real. The feeling of emptiness expresses human tragedy, pain with loss. As I listened to my friend, trying to comfort him, his words flowing, I could hear the deep sadness. I was in a moment of mourning with him. He had lost someone he loved, not a physical death, but by every other measure, a death. Being so moved by this experience, it called me to write about it. He told me he had finally realized the person he cared so much for saw him as only necessary when they could use him. Even then they were judgmental abusive, condescending, and patronizing. Looking back now, he said he did not know why it had taken so long for him to see it. There had been many signs, phone calls not returned, never coming to visit, too busy to get together for important occasions, hurtful comments and little if any interest in what he was doing. I did not say much, just listened, thinking how unkind and selfish the person must be to be so hurtful to one that cared about them so much. Love is a powerful blessing that brings great joy to life, it can be also powerfully blinding. I asked my friend, so do you not still take pleasure in helping the person? His reply was, no, not so much anymore. Without saying, I thought what an unnecessary loss for one that cared so deeply. I am sharing this story with you because my guess is we all know at least one person such as the one who is or was in my friend's life. The most dangerous of them are those we become emotionally invested with. Epically tragic is often they are family members, those we work with, a lover, or maybe, a childhood friend. Yes, those we most value. Others see them for what they are, and may even try to warn you about them. As you can see, my friend's story has deeply touched me. With the holidays upon us, I worry about him. For those going through this, it can be a very difficult time. I struggle with trying to understand why some people are mean to others, just because they can be. Is it they feel the need to elevate themselves at the expense of others, or do they just want to exact revenge and dole out punishment? Those educated in psychology of relationships and psychotherapy have studied this type of behavior, fixing labels to it. Examples include personality disorders and narcissism. Case work shows their behavior reflects a sense of entitlement, superiority, or inferiority complex. I will defer to their professional opinions is such matters. For the most part, I see all the techno-babble as excuses used to try and explain away meanness. Everyone has their faults and another's meanness is no one's fault but their own. Yes there are times we all get angry, but if you really care about someone, being vengeful and mean to them is wrong. There is no excuse for it. It will not make either of you feel better. It is Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all those who have ever shown me a kindness. Maybe you have a friend or family member that could use a shoulder. Pick up your phone, take a ride. Do it while you still can. Listen to what you cannot see, you may then see everything. |
|
0 Comments
 Recalling Theodore Roosevelt's ideas
Steve Trubilla "In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. "But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American and nothing but an American ... There can be no divided allegiance here. "Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag ... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language ... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." President Roosevelt's words speak to commitment and unity. Not optional expectation to it, but loyalty required of anyone that is joined in the American tapestry. Contrast this to what the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue says as he floods the country with divisiveness. While said a long time ago, Roosevelt's words are not tired and old. I submit those that find fault with them, no matter what their citizenship standing is, have no place in our country. So what do I mean by have no place here? I mean they can go anywhere they like, but they cannot stay here. If they are already an American citizen they can leave that at the door on their way out. Standing for America is a good thing, and for one I am tired of hearing of politicians and so-called activists bad mouthing her. You are not an Islamophobe or racist for expecting people to obey the law. You are not a hater if you feel one language, and that being English, is in our country's best interest. I feel most in our country have no problem with those that come here legally and assimilate. As a nation and a people we are the sum of our collective contributions and experiences. It is the true power of diversity. One people united in principal and purpose. My guess is if you ask most that come to our shores why they came, it was to get a job to be able to take care of their family. Many others would share they had to leave where they were because someone was trying to kill them. It is not the immigrant we should fear, it is those using them for personal and or political advantage that damage our country and way of life. Those that truly hate what America represents would shred the U.S. Constitution in an attempt to change and transform our country. They could care less about those that come here, legal or otherwise. So the question is transform and change to what? If you ask this of the transformers all they have for you is what they want, how they or their ancestors were unjustly treated, and what their demands are. They never get to what transformed looks like once they get us there. Transform is code, just like the words progressive, and liberal. Those that conspire now openly state their intent is to take care of the people by way of the government controlling and owning everything. Their idea is neither new nor innovative. Marxist doctrine and The Communist Manifesto lay it all out. It is all very clear. Alienation and exploitation are tenants to divide the populous. The influence of this in our country today includes antagonized heightened radical tension, and agitated hostility against the police. Other examples include the IRS and EPA targeting those that speak out. The common template includes: indoctrination of children; Common Core, the control of health care; Affordable Healthcare Act, the monitoring of citizens; Patriot Act are but a few examples. Another is the government, for the people's safety, seizing citizens' weapons. Where this has been done before, the poor, disenfranchised, the refugee, and immigrant have not made out well. By the tens of millions many became very dead. To see the truth of this one only has to read of the lessons of the past. But who reads anymore? A better America will not be found in whom we do not accept, it will be found in what we do not accept. President Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt was, and is, spot on when it comes to immigration, and so many other things. I see him as one of our greatest Presidents. Thank you, President Roosevelt |
AuthorSteve Trubilla is a freelance writer living in Youngsville, NC. He contributes to a wide range of publications and writes a column titled, "Paper Bullets". Categories
All
Archives
March 2023
|
RSS Feed